Do you have Spanish-speaking friends who might be interested in Transformative Leadership? If so you might want to share the following information with them.
On October 7, UNIDA (NGO from Argentina) will be offering a free seminar on Moral (Transformative) Leadership. In this seminar we will briefly look at topics such as:
– The Transformative Learning Process
– How to Respond to the Processes of Integration and Disintegration
For those who want to learn more, from 25 October to 13 December there will be an 8-week course with virtual sessions of 2 hours each Sunday. You can find more information at https://www.unida.org.ar/liderazgo-moral/
Both the seminar and the course are based on the book Liderazgo Moral which can be purchased at Amazon in digital or printed form.
On Sunday, September 13, in the graduation ceremony for Liderazgo Moral (Transformative Leadership), 22 people from 9 countries received their Certificates of Participation, having attended at least 75% of the 2-hour virtual sessions.
So far, 15 of them have sent their final paper, qualifying them to receive the Certificate of Approval for the Course. This paper consisted of:
1) A report on how they had shared some part of the topic that they studied each week with others and the conversations that ensued.
2) A project proposal of how and with what group they will share one or several topics of what they learned. For some, this will consist of giving a two-hour workshop, and for others, a project that will last several weeks, including numerous meetings.
The important thing is that what they learned is not stored in the brains of the participants, but that they practice it in their daily lives and begin to share it with others.
Some of the graduates and their guests
More than 40 friends and relatives accompanied the graduates at the closing ceremony. Upon receiving their Certificate, each graduate shared what had most impacted them about the course and how they plan to apply it. You can see the full ceremony on Facebook on UNIDA’s page. The graduates’ words start at 1:14:00
Since the course was so successful, UNIDA will be offering it again starting on October 27th. But first, so that more people can become familiar with some of the fundamental ideas of Liderazgo Moral, there will be a free seminar on October 7th. Registration for the seminar is now open.
And for graduates — both of this course and the course that begins in October — we will offer a second course at the beginning of 2021 focused on the development of ” Capabilities that Contribute to Collective Transformation.
In the meantime, if you would like to learn more about Liderazgo Moral, please note that the book is available on Amazon in Spanish, both in digital and print form.
If you have friends who speak Spanish who may be interested, please inform them about the free seminar and the course in October.
What does “leadership” mean, once it’s been stripped of the mindset of domination? How do we go about transforming ourselves and the social environment we find ourselves in?
Since its initial formulation over 25 years ago, Transformative Leadership has been successfully applied in education, health, youth empowerment, community development, and in both nonprofit and for-profit organizations on five continents.
The course questions existing mental models of human nature, society, and leadership that impede progress toward a just, united world community, proposing an explicit, principle-based framework that can bolster cooperative action in teams, organizations, and communities.
The course is open to adults and older youth and is especially useful to those who are involved in social action or participating in the discourse of society. It is a requirement for those who wish to serve as facilitators in the program Transformative Leadership for Youth.
Over 40 friends participated in the first offering of this course in February and several are applying what they learned in their communities and organizations. We have formed an international Creative Community Group to support these efforts. Those who participated in the first meeting in August were very enthusiastic and want to continue meeting regularly to share their activities and enrich their ideas through consultation.
Check out the contents of this inspiring course! There are discounted prices for groups of 2 or more, so invite your friends and enhance your learning by forming your own creative learning group.
Transformative Leadership for Youth
Since March we have offered this seminar twice with over 100 different youth, ages 11-17.
The seminar inspires youth to exercise empowered leadership at home, at school, and in their community. Inspired by Gandhi’s words “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, Transformative Leadership addresses how each youth can “be the change”, going beyond our current understanding of leadership and indicating what each and every youth can do as an active agent of transformation.
Transformative Leadership for Youth promotes a culture of cooperation, ethical principles and scientific evidence, which is motivated by the investigation of truth, attraction to beauty, and thirst for knowledge.
During the seminar, the youth build and strengthen friendships with youth from communities throughout the world, use art to develop their appreciation of the beauty of diversity, and cultivate a culture where they contribute to personal and collective change through learning and action.
The seminar includes readings based on the books Transformative Leadership: Developing the Hidden Dimensionand Transformative Leadership for Youth. Facilitators accompany the youth as they study the readings and respond to discussion questions in small groups, using the breakout rooms available on Zoom. There are also special hangouts in which youth can learn to express their understanding, using varied art forms, such as music, photography, graphic art, or poetry.
Releasing Society-Building Powers of Youth: Cultivating a Framework for Social Action
This is the third seminar in the Transformative Leadership for Youth program. It is open to youth ages 11-17 who desire to contribute to the betterment of their community by applying spiritual principles to material and social development through service-oriented leadership. Youth will continue to apply the 6 elements and 18 capabilities of the Transformative Leadership conceptual framework that empower personal and social transformation and will integrate multimedia art in an expression of transformative learning.
The youth will develop and, if they desire, initiate grassroots social action projects by forming collaborative creative groups, elaborating a principle-based vision, identifying elements and capabilities that will support their efforts, and deepening on the dynamic role and society-building power of youth today.
This seminar will have a special emphasis on the Baháʼí-inspired approach to social and economic development while engaging in a study and application of concepts and principles of social action and societal discourse.
Baháʼí-inspired social action promotes and applies spiritual principles for the social and material progress and betterment of all members of the community while it avoids proselytizing.
Our focus will be on cultivating and building grassroots capacity through sustainable initiatives and promoting unity through learning, service, and art.
Youth who have taken the seminar Transformative Leadership for Youth or Being the Change: Cultivating Capacities, are especially invited to participate in this third seminar in the series. We invite those who have not participated in these seminars to take this seminar simultaneously with the seminar Transformative Leadership for Youth so that they become familiarize with the conceptual framework of Transformative Leadership.
In February and March, we had the opportunity to give the 6-week virtual course Cultivating Transformative Leadership to some 40 participants through Wilmette Institute. The course proved so popular that on September 10, we will be offering a second opportunity to take this course.
Since Transformative Leadership Education sees itself as “a movement, uniting ever greater numbers of people in the process of deepening their knowledge and practice of the conceptual framework and capabilities of Transformative Leadership,” we thought you might be interested in how the participants from the first course are applying what they learned. Here are updates from a few of them:
Kurt Henne from Bolivia served as a facilitator in the Wilmette Institute courses Transformative Leadership for Youth and Being the Change: Cultivating Capabilities with youth ages 11-17. He has also used the Spanish version of the book with a youth group in his neighborhood. He commented: “I found the course Cultivating Transformative Leadership to be very beneficial. I gained many new insights about the conceptual framework as well as practical capabilities that contribute to true leadership in my work and home life.”
Dr. Deborah Rana from the US participated as a guest speaker in the Transformative Leadership for Youth courses, sharing updated, accurate information on COVID-19. She will also be supporting the upcoming course for adults, participating in the forums and the zoom calls.
Sandy Gershuny from Canada is going to incorporate Transformative Leadership into a project focused on nutrition that she wants to launch in Lesotho, Africa, through the World Foundation for Prosperity and Autonomy.
Jes Sy from Singapore reported on how he incorporated his learning in a virtual choir in which he participates in order to transform the style of leadership from paternalistic to cooperative. He commented:
“…We consulted about what would be more meaningful for the choir to do, especially at this time of crisis. What is the higher goal and aim that we want to achieve besides lending our voices to the choir? … The focus of the group then leaned towards community engagement and service on how we can reach out to more people and support each other rather than just producing ‘music’. In the process, there was more ownership of the members of the project. More members came to contribute their technical capabilities in the making of the video, reaching out to their friends, family, and colleagues, even to strangers, to have conversations on the intent of the project to be more supportive and to have gratitude…. We also incorporated learning to reflect on our actions. … There was a lot of encouragement from each other. More than just setting a goal to achieve what we want in this project, we also formed a deeper friendship and the relationship among the members was strengthened. We became a supportive community with each other. “
Kelly Kerani from the US informed: “The course continues to impact me… My focus is to use what I learned to help (my team) move into more effective consultation and co-development of human resources.”
Other friends from the US, who have already collaborated as facilitators in the program Transformative Leadership for Youth, are exploring opportunities to apply Transformative Leadership in their communities and are planning on taking the course in September to better prepare themselves.
Raelee Pierce is planning to offer Transformative Leadership for Youth in January 2021 through an organization in her area that provides “Enrichment Classes” to home schoolers.
Nichole Weinstein wants to offer Transformative Leadership for Youth in her school district and is exploring the option of contacting teachers who would also like to be trained as facilitators, building capacity in the wider community.
We cordially invite all those who want to deepen their understanding of Transformative Leadership in order to apply it in their own lives and organizations, or to share it with others, to sign up for the course Cultivating Transformative Leadership at https://cvent.me/0lMyER The course will begin on September 10 and includes readings, videos, forums, and an optional weekly zoom call.
In February and March, Transformative Leadership Education gave a virtual course through Wilmette Institute with over 40 participants from all over the world. In the course, we encouraged the participants to identify initiatives they could take to share Transformative Leadership in their communities.
One of the participants was Fabrice Mouketa Doha from Congo, who formed two groups to study the Transformative Leadership book. He has shared the following information about his activities
“The first group is in Nanga (my neighborhood).
This group is comprised of my wife, who is a school principal, another school teacher, and two other friends, as well as myself. The group participates in a Ruhi Institute study circle during the week and has a Transformative Leadership session on Sundays.
With this group the aim is to help every member to grow personally and professionally and to build a creative group of friends serving the community together. Among the actions this group has taken was an informational campaign about Covid-19, which included the distribution of free simple masks and information about home gardens.
Studying Transformative Leadership in Amour du Pays, Congo
The second group is in Amour du Pays.
This group started after a friend who attended a session of Transformative Leadership shared the ideas with a few of his friends in his neighborhood. The young people with whom he spoke were interested and thought that leadership would help them build capacity and better manage their band.
So I have a 60 to 90 min session with them every Tuesday. The aim is to help these youth reach their potential and become aware of how this potential can serve them not only in their work with the band but also with the community at large.
In all cases, I encourage them to foster friendship and participate in group dynamics where they learn and serve together. My challenge is to find ways to adapt my teaching/learning style to the needs and context of each group and to give sessions a structured approach.
Recently, I have decided to take my two junior youth children with me to help as assistants during sessions. I’m attaching a drawing of the last study session in Amour du Pays made by Nabyl (my 13-year-old son).
Fabrice has also begun to translate Transformative Leadership into French.
I recently had the opportunity to give a workshop on Teamwork to over 20 people who serve at the Bahá’í Temple in Chile. The workshop consisted of 4 sessions – one on Teamwork in general, and each of the others dedicated to a capability of Transformative Leadership: Learning from Reflection on Action, Systemic Thinking and Giving Encouragement.
I more frequently give workshops on the conceptual framework of Transformative Leadership and the capability of consultation, which I gave to personal at the Temple last March. So I thoroughly enjoyed delving into these three capabilities , since we usually only have the opportunity to do so in long-term projects.
Since the participants all serve in different teams of the same organization, they were able to consult in depth about how to apply each of the capabilities in their teams and how to better coordination between the teams.
The workshop on teamwork was based on the booklet Commitment-Based Administration and included topics, such as matching each person’s skills and interests to the tasks he is assigned, listening skills, different types of supervision, and characteristics of effective meetings.
In the workshop on learning from reflection on action the participants in each area used the following questions to guide their reflection related to a challenge they were facing:
If and how what they have been doing contributes to the personal growth of those involved and to the quality of their service
Positive aspects of the activity that they want to continue
Aspects that they would like to better and how
Their most important learning from the experience
In the workshop on systemic thinking, the participants practiced identifying patterns and then searching for the generating structure that created each pattern in order to apply solutions that address the root of a problem, instead of simply responding to the symptom.
In the workshop on giving encouragement, they focused on how to give effective compliments by being sincere, expressing the compliment as their personal feeling, mentioning concretely what the person did well, and complimenting effort and perseverance, rather than innate intelligence and capacity. (Those interested in learning more about this topic can sign up for the free digital course at https://transformative-leaders.teachable.com/p/giving-compliments) They also consulted about the process of accompaniment and how to make it more effective.
Group consultation during the workshop
I was impressed by the speed with which the participants grasped the concepts and by the concrete examples they gave of how they could apply the capabilities, including practical suggestions that could be applied in the near future.
After the last
session, one of the organizers wrote: “Thank you for sharing this marvelous
workshop with us. Personally, it
contributed greatly to both my personal and professional growth. What most impressed me was that it was very
practical and concrete, adapted to the services we carry out at the
Temple. Consulting in groups (composed
of people who work in the same area of service) helped to achieve that.”
On February 2 the team participated in a panel discussion on Transformative Leadership, sponsored by the Wilmette Institute and coordinated by Niki Daniels. If you weren’t able to listen to the panel live, we invite you to check it out on YouTube at https://youtu.be/k7gkH8B0uZ4
The panel discussion was followed by a period of questions
and answers. Some interesting points
that came up in the discussion were:
What the Participants Will Gain from Taking the Course that Will Be Offered from February 13-April 1
(Joan) The participants in the course can experience any of the following results, depending on their own interests and engagement with the course.
Hopefully, all who take the course will experience some degree of personal transformation in their own lives.
Since the course also focuses on social transformation, it will be especially helpful for those who want to reach out to community groups, especially youth.
You will be better able to take part in social action, “contributing to the spiritual and material upliftment of communities.” An example are the local social action projects, incorporating Transformative Leadership that Jess describes during the talk. We have also incorporated Transformative Leadership in long-term projects focused on specific populations or professions that have a duration of a year and a half or two years.
Finally, the course will help you to better participate in the discourse of society. Today people in all parts of the world are becoming increasingly discouraged with leadership . By participating in the course you will have a productive alternative to contribute to this discussion, rather than just lamenting the problems that exist.
The Relevance of
Transformative Leadership Today
(Jess) I discovered the Transformative Leadership book in 2017, and was just overwhelmed and absolutely ecstatic to find it. I had already been engaged in community-building activities, contributing to the spiritual and material well-being of the community at the grassroots level for seven years. Complementing this with the systematic framework presented by Transformative Leadership that encompasses all people, all ages, all backgrounds, was truly transformative. We immediately integrated it into our Junior Youth program. The kids practice the six elements of Transformative Leadership, learn how to engage, looking through the lens of personal and social transformation, the two-fold moral purpose that human beings have.
We had a workshop in 2017 open to the public. An assistant principal who attended commented that ‘Transformative Leadership would benefit educators in all areas: new teachers, new administrators, as well as seasoned veterans.”
We also did some work with a local non-profit called Intercultural Community Builders that hosts workshops for middle and high school students that address bullying behaviors and intercultural leadership skills. We integrated the six elements of Transformative Leadership into their “Find Your Voice, Take a Stand” Anti-Bullying Workshop curriculum.
For the past year and a half, I have integrated Transformative Leadership into a passion of mine, which is photography and the arts, focused on empowering young people. These young people have really been receptive and taken this to heart. Now we have 20-30 students in Northern Colorado engaged weekly in Transformative Leadership.
Our young people are constantly in spaces where divisiveness and adversarial relationships are really taking its toll, so these kids use this framework to navigate these challenges and they are able use their conscious knowledge and passionate desire for justice to make informed decisions, to basically elevate themselves, to not take part in these adversarial relationships. They practice their capabilities in order to make situations more unifying. It’s been incredibly heart-warming to see these kids do that.
Integrating
Transformative Leadership into Programs Focused on Particular Professions
(Joan) One of the beauties of Transformative Leadership is that you can integrate it into programs focused on specific professions or populations. When giving a three-semester program for 1000 teachers in Ecuador, we integrated the conceptual framework of Transformative Leadership and its 18 capabilities with academic capabilities directly related to education. Likewise, Transformative Leadership has been integrated into long-term programs on public health and community development.
Online Study Group
(Vahid) A friend of mine reached out to me and asked how
they could go about studying Transformative Leadership. She was aware that the
model existed and was really impactful, and she was particularly concerned with
the situation of the world today. Part of her concern was: How do I go about
changing my community and the participating actors? She reached out to a number of friends from
different communities and organized a group. I coordinated it, using online
webinars. We would get together once a week, talk about the reading they had
done and consult on the questions that emerged from the reading.
Relation
to the Ruhi Institute Process
(Jessica) Both the Institute process and the Transformative Leadership framework build capacity for personal transformation and also for contributing to the betterment of our world. Looking at the two, they go hand-in-hand. In my grassroots efforts to contribute to the betterment of the community, when I discovered the Transformative Leadership materials in 2017, they just fit perfectly. I really see it as all integrated, looking at it as one, as opposed to compartmentalizing. I think the Transformative Leadership model could strengthen any endeavor, any engagement, complementing the Institute process.
Learning More about Transformative Leadership
From February 13-April 1, our Transformative Leadership Education team will be conducting an online course on the Wilmette Institute platform. In the course you can delve more deeply into Transformative Leadership and develop ideas of how you can apply it in your community. Get more information and sign up at bit.ly/tlcourseinfo. If you sign up as a member of a study group, there is a discount for members 2 through 10.
If you know others who may be interested — either in listening to the Web Talk on YouTube (https://youtu.be/k7gkH8B0uZ4), or signing up for the course (bit.ly/tlcourseinfo) — please share this information with them.
We often think
that complimenting others is a good way to encourage them. However, some kinds of compliments have
negative results, such as:
Flattery that
seeks to manipulate others to do what we want
Generalized praise that
inflates the person’s ego and creates an attitude of self-complacency coupled
with a fear of failure. As a result, the person does not take on challenging
tasks and stymies her growth.
The following practices help to avoid these
errors:
Always be sincere,
affirming the truth as you see it. Practice looking for positive qualities and
actions in others and compliment these.
When complimenting someone, express that compliment as
your personal feeling or reaction,
saying, for example: “Your explanation impressed
me,” rather than saying “You are a good speaker.” In general, avoid using
the word “you” since it comes across as an evaluation.
Mention
the concrete action that the person did well. If the compliment is too general, the person won’t
know what she did well or how to repeat the positive action.
Praise the effort and progress made, rather than innate talent
or intelligence. The studies of Carol Dweck have demonstrated that praising
others for their efforts and perseverance contribute to the development of a ‘growth
mindset’. This encourages them to continue striving and
eventually achieve their goals.
In
contrast, when people are praised for their intelligence or innate talent, they
develop a ‘fixed
mindset’. As a result,
they tend to give up when things get difficult because they conclude that they
are not intelligent enough or capable enough to work at that level.
In one of her investigations, Dweck divided a class into two groups. After giving an easy test to both groups in which all did well, she praised the students in the first group by saying: “You got a good grade. You must be very intelligent.” She praised the students in the second group by saying: “You got a good grade. You must have studied a lot.”
She then gave both groups of students a number of other tests and compared their results. She concluded with the following explanation of the difference in the achievements and attitudes of those who received praise for their intelligence or innate talent compared with those who were praised for their effort and perseverance:
“The child or adult hears:
‘oh, you think I’m brilliant and talented.
That’s why you admire me – that’s why you value me. I better not do anything that disproves this
evaluation.’
As a result, they enter a
fixed mindset, they play it safe in the future, and they limit the growth of
their talent.
Whereas focusing on the
strategies they use, the way they are stretching themselves and taking on hard
tasks, the intense practice they are doing: those are the kinds of things that
say to a child or to an older athlete: ‘It’s about the process of growth.’
As a result, they don’t
feel: ‘Oh, if I make a mistake you won’t think I’m talented.’ They think: ‘Oh,
if I don’t take on hard things and stick to them I’m not going to grow.’” (Carol Dweck – A Study on Praise and Mindsets)
If
you want to delve into these ideas with more detail, including practical
examples, I invite you to watch the videos and carry out the practices in the
free course Giving Compliments
that Motivate.
For several months we had been corresponding with Daniel Rodriguez Lujan, who works at the National University of Santiago del Estero, Argentina, (UNSE) about the possibility of my visiting the University to give a conference and workshops on Transformative Leadership. Finally, in mid-November, I was able to make the trip and share Transformative Leadership, not only in the university but also with other organizations in the city under the auspices of the Mediation Department of the University.
With Daniel in route to Santiago
Declaration by the Provincial Congress
The Provincial Congress declared the Conference on “Education for Transformative Leadership” of significance for the province, which enhanced the level of interest.
I had the opportunity to give the Rector of the University a copy of Liderazgo Moral (in English: Transformative Leadership ). As he thanked me for the book, he mentioned that he loved reading and expressed several ideas aligned with Transformative Leadership.
Rector of UNSE receives the book Liderazgo Moral
Approximately 50 people – including the three heads of schools for the police – attended the Conference at UNSE, which lasted more than an hour and a half. In the final dialogue, some interesting comments emerged.
Participants in the Conference exchange ideas in response to a question.
The coordinator of the event asked one of the subcommanders his opinion on Transformative Leadership since the police is a hierarchical organization in which orders must be obeyed. The subcommander explained that even though there is a hierarchy, they use consultation in a meeting they schedule with everyone at the beginning of each week in which they discuss the main tasks to be carried out. At the end of the conference, he bought the book and expressed interest in taking these topics to the School for Policemen.
These comments led to the explanation that there are different ways to use consultation. The most common is to come to decisions by consensus. But another legitimate use is for the person who has authority to consult with others in order to enrich his or her ideas and make a better decision. I clarified that when consulting for this purpose, at the beginning, it is important that the authority explain that the decision will not be made by consensus, but that he will take into account the different opinions proposed. With this clarification, people do not feel disillusioned when the decision is not made by consensus.
With regard to the benefit of belonging to a creative group of people who have similar ideals or a common vision, someone commented that there have been figures in history who have achieved great social changes alone, without belonging to a group, citing Christ, Buddha, and Confucius.
In response to this comment, I clarified that the Manifestations of God – the Founders of the great world religions – are very special figures with a power endowed by God that makes what they say come true.
There are also people who have led great social movements, such as Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, and Gandhi. In these cases, although they led, they surely had people around them with whom to consult. We concluded that one person can take the initiative to start a project and lead it, but it is always enriching to have a small group of people with whom to consult.
In brief, the public showed great interest and several people bought books or booklets in order to deepen their understanding of Transformative Leadership and consultation.
The participants showed interest in the books on Transformative Leadership and its capabilities
Due to the interest generated, on the following days, I was able to give a short workshop with more people at the University, and a talk at the Forensic Center with several lawyers.
In addition to the talks on Transformative Leadership, on the first day, I participated in two television interviews and one radio interview of 20-30 minutes each, sharing the basic concepts of Transformative Leadership and extending an invitation to the conference in the evening.
On the following days, I was able to take part in an interview with the press and participate in the filming of a complete presentation of Transformative Leadership, which will be broadcast by sections on the television of the University and made available on YouTube.
Finally, I had the opportunity to consult with the School of Innovation of UNSE about the possibility of offering a virtual course on Transformative Leadership under their auspices, and with the editorial of the University on the possibility of their publishing Liderazgo Transformador para Jóvenes (Transformative Leadership for Youth).
In brief, perhaps due to the increasing signs of disintegration that are affecting society, all the institutions with which I interacted were extremely aware of the need for a new style of leadership and open to the focus of Transformative Leadership.
Have you signed up for the 5-day challenge that will start on Monday, November 4? You can find out more about it and sign up at bit.ly/LoveEncourage.
Those who participate in the challenge will receive 4 sections of this audiobook.
To prepare for the challenge, today I am sharing one of the topics we will explore.
FILLING OUR MINDS WITH THOUGHTS OF LOVE
Love exercises an attractive force and is the source of unity. The greater the love among the members of a family or organization, the stronger the power of attraction that maintains the unity of the group. Unity facilitates cooperation and motivates service, two attitudes that are necessary to achieve significant results.
The more we fill out thoughts, words and actions with love, the better relations we will have with others and the more effective the actions of our group. Together, love, cooperation, and service form a virtuous circle, reinforcing one another.
The reality of human beings, what distinguishes us from animals, is thought. What we think, sooner or later, influences our actions. These reflect what we really think, which at times differs from our words. Thoughts are like seeds and actions, their fruit.
In Real Magic Wayne Dyer tells the story of a boy from Jamaica who dreamed of becoming a doctor. Even though they lived in extreme poverty, his grandmother encouraged him, saying that he should always keep in mind his desire and act to achieve his vision. After graduating from high school, the youth applied to hundreds of universities for a place in a pre-med program; but they all rejected him. He didn’t give up. Finally, he was accepted by a university in Europe. He moved there, working to pay for his studies. When he finally became a prosperous physician, his friends and relatives commented on how ‘lucky’ he had been. (Adapted from Wayne Dyer, Real Magic, chapter 5)
Just as concentrating on positive thoughts
and acting on them gradually brings them into existence, dwelling on negative
thoughts leads to harmful actions. People who are full of resentment may constantly
think about how they were wronged and complain about how badly someone treated
them. It would not be surprising if one
day their anger explodes and they get into a fight with that person. Even if they control themselves and avoid a
fight, their ongoing negative thoughts can lead to depression and even illness.
Once we are aware that thoughts have the power to influence our actions, we can consciously influence our thoughts, by making wise choices about what goes into our minds, selecting:
The movies and TV programs we watch: Are they inspiring or are they full of conflicts, lies, deceit, explicit sex and violence?
The books and articles we read: Do we usually choose content that inspires us, makes us think or teaches us something useful?
The web pages we visit: What thoughts and feelings do they generate in us?
The topics about which we converse: Are we positive and hopeful, or are our conversations full of blame, complaints, and pessimism?
Our friends: Studies indicate that we tend to reflect the values, habits, and lifestyle of the five people with whom we spend the most time, whether personally or by exposing ourselves to their ideas through reading their books or interacting with them on the internet. With whom do we spend most of our time?
Everything that goes into our minds influences whether we generally have positive or negative thoughts. To a considerable degree, we can select that content.
If we want to strengthen our capability of loving, we can experiment with the following practice.
Identify specific people to whom we wish to show greater love (certain members of our family, colleagues, members of an organization to which we belong).
Every morning we ask ourselves: What can I do today to show love to each person I have chosen?
Throughout the day we can check in with ourselves to see if we are carrying out what we have planned.
Arielle Ford reminds us: “Love is both a choice and a behavior. Every day we choose whom we love and we choose to express this love through loving behaviors.” (Ford, Arielle, Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate, p. 31)
If you haven’t yet done so, sign up for the challenge at bit.ly/LoveEncourage. One of the participants will win a free copy of the audiobook.
