A Reflection on Relationships by a High School Student

What makes a relationship? Is it the bonds and connections with other people? Is it how we feel towards ourselves? The answer is, both. Interpersonal and personal relationships are fundamental to being human. Relationships are necessary; unfortunately, they can be challenging to manage.

Do you have perfect relationships in your life? When was the last time someone told you that their relationships were perfect? No one has ideal relationships. People aren’t perfect. 

Environments and opportunities dedicated to learning, analyzing and practicing relationship skills are valuable, especially for young people. I personally partake in these activities as a high school student. 
I do my best to make sure that my thinking is always self-reflective and analytical. In our Transformative Leadership seminar, we listened to an extract from the audiobook Giving Love and Encouragement, then looked at what we can do to fill our minds with positive thoughts. It was very reflective. Questions included “What actions resulted from these positive thoughts?” and “Share examples of actions you have taken in the last 2 days that have contributed to positive thoughts.” I found these questions interesting; not only do they ask for a reply, they ask you to take responsibility for your actions or lack thereof.

As a young person, I go to school. I am continuously surrounded by the type of relationship issues people have in their lives. Common ones encompass friend drama, lack of trust between parent and child, and the pressures of graduating from high school and applying for college as well as authority figures who are disconnected from what we are facing every day. As a teenager, these matters are life. Your parents are in charge of everything, you need good grades to graduate, and problems with friends can feel like the world is crashing and burning. 

This last week, we did a puzzle-like exercise. Every participant wrote down a situation that included problems youth face today. These situations were not light topics. They included bullying, depression, suicide, and abuse. We then mixed all the situations up and gave one to each group. The groups were to look at the areas related to the situations, and find where the 6 elements of Transformative Leadership would be effective. This was to exhibit the use Transformative Leadership has in real-life situations. 

My partner and I collaborated well. We were able to work together to find the elements we thought fit with each of the situations. We had two specific ideas on this. She made the point that Transformative Leadership isn’t always sufficient when dealing with themes like depression. I thought it was fascinating how an awful lot of accountability is put onto every person. In the end, we both came up with Transcendence as the appropriate element to apply to topics such as depression, suicide, and abuse. Transcendence consists of looking toward eternal values and achieving a broader vision in order to overcome challenges. Getting assistance from professionals can easily be incorporated into Transcendence. 

Recently, I have been becoming aware of how much everything depends on perspective. We all have choices in life, I have been practicing Transcendence to look outside myself. Transformative Leadership is one of the driving factors behind this. Relationships give purpose, that’s why it hurts so much when they are lost. They take a lot of management and care, but if both sides contribute and make an effort, it’s worth it.